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06 March 2013

Your Tears

Dear Cute Girl Who got Yelled at Right Before Her Shift Began at the BYU Creamery on Ninth,

I am the guy who was sitting by himself on his computer at the bar of the grill. I believe that I was the first person to notice the tears coming to your eyes, and I was also the first person who you probably hoped hadn't noticed. As you were holding in your emotions your co-workers approached you. I know how stressed they had been up until that moment, and I am grateful that they were patient with you but I recognized that that wasn't enough.

At first I tried to ignore you because I didn't want you to feel embarrassed. I was then overwhelmed with concern for you. I racked my brain for anything that I could say to you to cheer you up. No words seemed sufficient. I just wanted to give you a hug. People say I'm a good hugger after all. I wanted you to know that in this room of strangers, there was one person who cared. I watched as you accepted responsibility for what happened even though the mistake made was not entirely your fault. I felt so much respect for you. You were even optimistic as you spoke. Not only were you beautiful in the outside, but also on the inside. I began to imagine how proud of you God must be.

I don't think I'm an evil person by any means, but I began to wish that I could know that God was proud of me. Suddenly I was overcome by a new emotion: I felt more alone than I have in a long time. Just then, you accidentally threw a piece of lettuce at me. I'm not sure you knew that it hit me, but in that moment I felt so real. I felt alive; I knew that I was there even though no one around me had any idea who I was. In that moment, you taught me something about myself that I don't understand.

I offered a silent prayer on your behalf and sat pondering for a few moments about what I might be able to do. Nothing came to mind. I left from the store fighting back my own tears. Those tears are still ready to flow as I type this.

I'm not sure I've ever felt so much compassion for a complete stranger. I just want to say that I love you, and I wish I could have been there for you instead of just their. Sorry for telling your story on my blog. If you ever read this and want me to take it down, please send me an email. But before you do, please know that you changed my life somehow today for the better. Like I said, I don't understand fully what you taught me, but I know that I won't be the same anymore.

Thank you for your Christlike example.

-Ben Brown